Road Trip Minnesota

Road Trip Minnesota: No mistakes in the Land of 10,000 Lakes.

By John Rosengren

Day 1

Here’s the rap against Minnesota: brutal winters, dumb governor; bad gold. Though January days are colder than a witch’s britches and Jesse “the Body” Ventura’s intellect may be somewhat smaller than his populist appeal, Jack Nicklaus himself has proclaimed that the Land of 10,000 Lakes has “an outstanding golf heritage” and “some truly great courses.” I’m setting out to find the top three.

Carts are mandatory on the 6,930-yard course to facilitate the long commute between greens and tees. The holes are so spread out that I can’t see from one fairway to the next, and the feeling of remoteness is welcome. Until night falls.

Imagine the middle of nowhere with a 93-suite corporate conference lodge. Welcome to Giants Ridge. I eat a dinner of pecan-crusted walleye in the lodge’s restaurant, Timbers. The room is built for 160 people, but only one other table is occupied–a husband-wife combo with three giggling daughters.

After dinner, I head into nearby Biwabik. At the Biwabik Bar & Sauna, I ask the friendly barkeep what’s the deal with the sauna. “They’re three old-fashioned Finnish saunas,” she says. “Go on in, there’s only a few people in there.” I politely decline and settle for a couple of beers.

Day 2

The next morning I’m up at 8 a.m., hangover-free, and make a pit stop in Eveleth at the U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame, home of Wayne Gretzky’s Rangers jersey and the Mighty Ducks’ original scoreboard, among other artifacts. Afterward, a 150-mile drive takes me past the old mines of the Iron Range and earth the color of a rare steak to central Minnesota’s resort-saturated Brainerd area.

Arnold Palmer designed the Deacon’s Lodge course at the Grandview Lodge amid thick wetlands, woods, and abundant wildlife. I spot deer tracks on the first fairway, and a loon in the bay along the par-4 fifth laughs at my dismal approach shot. The natural waste bunkers sprouting tall fescue grass and the bent-grass chipping aprons set along undulating fairways distinguish Deacon’s from the scores of other courses in the area. Holes like the signature par-4 12^th dangle risk like a worm in front of a muskie: An expansive wetland spreads out from the tee, with the narrow fairway snaking along the right side. Nailing the fairway requires a short but deadly accurate tee shot. I go for it and manage to plug my drive about 240 years out, a short chip from the green. Two putts make for a nice par.

After the quick four-hour round, I head down the road 20 minutes to one of the area’s better restaurants, Sherwood Forest, where I feast on mixed greens with goat cheese, portabello mushrooms, and jumbo shrimp stuffed with crabmeat.

The food may be stellar, but the post-dinner entertainment is a bit mundane. Brainerd built its reputation on family fun, not naughty nightlife. The raunchiest entertainment I can find is at Breezy Point Resort, where an Elvis impersonator in a white jumpsuit embroidered with a blue sequin peacock sings the King’s hits. It isn’t Graceland, but it could pass for Vegas.

Day 3

The next day, it’s 130 miles due south to the Twin Cities to play Edinburgh USA. Robert Trent Jones Jr. gave the course a Scottish-links design, but there’s no mistaking its American heritage. Occasional views of cookie-cutter houses and massive power lines are the only things that spoil the otherwise pastoral rolling links. And at $39 a round, Edinbough is a tremendous value.

The starter, a short, sunburnt guy, tells me, “Don’t go for distance. Stay in play.” That’s because half the holes contain significant amounts of water, but I have trouble following his advice. On the signature 17^th, with its island fairway, I drop three shots into the drink and am forced to replenish my inventory from the stock sold by four enterprising boys who fish balls out of the hazards.

I suck down a quick post-round pint at MacTavish’s Grill & Pub in the clubhouse, but for dinner I decide to get out of suburban Dodge and make a beeline to the hip Chino Latino in the Uptown section of Minneapolis.

The restaurant’s bar, packed with young professionals, throbs with a world-music beat and wild hormones. A faux blind slides off her boyfriend’s lap and presses her breasts into my shoulder. “Taking notes?” she teases, nodding toward my notebook.

After pigging out on tangy seviche and satay, my pal Jeff, who joined me for dinner; heads off to downtown Minneapolis and Déjá Vu – whose motto is “Hundreds of Beautiful Girls and Three Ugly Ones”–a favorite hangout of the Timberwolves’ Kevin Garnett, or so I hear. But after a full meal and 18 wet holes, I’m ready to call it a night. It may not be the smartest decision, but then, my name isn’t Jesse.

Day 1: Giants Ridge

Golf: Giants Ridge Golf and Ski Resort, Highway 138, Biwabik, 800-688-7669, www.giantsridge.com

Eat & Drink: Giants Ridge

Lodging: Giants Ridge

Day 2: Giants Ridge to Brainerd, 162 miles

Golf: Deacon’s Lodge, 9348 Arnold Palmer Drive, Breezy Point, 888-437-4637, www.grandviewlodge.com

Eat & Drink: Sherwood Forest, 7669 Interlachen Road, Nisswa, 218-963-1382, www.grandviewlodge.com; Palmer Grill, 9348 Arnold Palmer Drive, Breezy Point, 218-562-6270, www.grandviewlodge.com

Lodging: Breezy Point Resort, 9252 Breezy Pont Drive, Breezy Point, 800-432-3777, www.breezypointresort.com

Pit Stop: U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame, 801 Hat Trick Avenue, Eveleth, 218-744-3777, www.ushockeyhall.com

Day 3: Brainerd to Minneapolis

Golf: Edinburgh USA, 8700 Edinbrook Crossing, Brooklyn Park, 763-315-8550

Eat & Drink: Chino Latino, 2916 Hennepin Avenue South, Minneapolis, 612-824-7878; Déjá Vu Nightclub, 315 Washington Avenue North, Minneapolis, 612-333-6333.

Lodging: Radisson Plaza Hotel Minneapolis, 35 South Seventh Street, Minneapolis, 612-339-4900, www.radisson.com

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